Issue 27

Termination: Phrases You Just Wouldn’t Hear on a Show

Phrases you just wouldn’t hear on a show.


9 September 2013

Text:/ Paul Collison

No matter what corner of the industry you live in, it seems that some disciplines are just (possibly unjustly) typecast. The same comments seem to crop up about the same departments, but the strange thing about it is, there is a certain element of truth to them all. We thought it would be fun to list some of things you would rarely, if ever, hear on a production. 

Lighting designer: I think i have enough lights to make this look amazing.

Audio: Let’s wait until the lighting guys are out of the truss before we tune the P.A.

Video: It’s okay, we brought our own truss and motors to do that job.

Production manager: That’s okay, we left some money in the budget for that.

Lighting tech: That problem couldn’t possibly be in the console, it must be at our end.

Venue: Would you guys like some water, tea or coffee?

Anyone: LinkedIn is so useful, I hire people from there all the time.

Lighting designer: I think we have enough haze.

Cameraman: The lighting was perfect.

Pyro: We nailed that cue. It was really on time.

Producer: Here is all the info you need for this job.

Truck driver: Sorry for being early.

Rigger: We’d be happy to move the point that we hung in the wrong place. 

Audio: That hum must be a problem in our system, dimmers don’t create hum like that.

Safety officer: Of course a cable tray doesn’t make sense to cover that Ethernet cable, taping it down is much more sensible.

Audio tech: That FOH guy is doing a great job. It sounds fantastic.

Stage door attendant: Good morning, how are you today?

Pyro: We’ll be back to clean up our mess of confetti and cables off your truss after the show.

Tech support: The manual is quite clear about your problem. 

Tech support: I know you’ve already turned it off and back on again, however have you tried…?

Choreographer to LD: You won’t have to do anything special with the lights here, these dancers are amazing.

Showcaller: I have my own reading lamp thanks.

CAD person: Well the drawings could be wrong.

CAD person: It fits in the drawing.

Technical director: That sounds like a fair hourly rate.

Mechanist: You want to move that border? No problem.

Choreographer: Look, our piece is only a small part of the larger show.

Dancer: I know my call time, where we’re a going and where I left my shoes.

String section: These music stand lights are bright enough thanks.

Venue: We have killed more than enough seats in the right location for your small tech area.

Systems tech: I’ve already taped down those leads.

Technical director: No problem.

Technical director: These designers are a fantastic addition to the team.

Anyone: My shout

Anyone: No thanks, I don’t drink.


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Issue 27